The Voice of Spalding and South Holland
Courageous Luke Hart has told of the years of domestic abuse his family suffered before his mum and sister were murdered by his father in Spalding last year.
In an eloquent, emotional and powerful 1,250-word Facebook post so far shared more than 3,000 times, Luke painted a picture of Lance Hart’s domineering behaviour and his “hero” younger brother Ryan’s strength against it.
Luke’s aim to raise awareness of domestic abuse and get more people listening and talking about it will surely be achieved.
He wrote in the post: “Our father was a terrorist living within our own home; he had no cause but to frighten his family and to generate his own esteem from trampling and bullying us.”
Luke (27) told The Voice he and Ryan had wanted to reveal the truth about their father’s past since the killings in the Castle Sports Complex swimming pool car park last July.
He said the true picture was that he, Ryan and their sister Charlotte (19) endured a lifetime of fear and intimidation sustained by Lance, who turned the gun on himself after the double murders – a final act Luke described as “cowardice”.
Mum Claire also suffered from the constant emotional and psychological abuse.
Luke said his father was so self-centred that one of his vivid childhood memories was when Claire revealed at the dinner table that she was suffering from cancer. Lance yelled at her for having it.
Luke said: “We all tried so hard to help him and asked him to get help. His response would always be ‘I’m fine’.
“So even though all of the rest of us were suffering, for my father it was all about himself.”
The abuse was commonplace during the boys’ childhood but as they grew into men, the realisation that the situation did not have to continue because they could change it became more apparent.
After leaving home for university, they continued to see their mum and sister struggle at the family home in Hatt Close, Moulton. Charlotte became depressed, had suicidal thoughts and dropped out of university.
It was soon after Luke and Ryan arranged a rental home for Claire and Charlotte to move into that Lance killed them in an act of revenge.
Nine months later, Luke used the advent of Ryan’s 26th birthday last Saturday (April 22) to pay tribute to his brother and to launch a fundraising page for him. By Tuesday, just four days after it was launched, it had £6,500 in donations.
In the Facebook post, Luke said: “Even when we struggled through our darkest moments against our father, Ryan dared to remain resistant when I had broken down and couldn’t face any more.
“He was still able to love and believe in a world that our father had filled with hate.
“Ryan’s resilience and hope was perceived by our father as a rebuttal to his dominance. For that, Ryan suffered the strongest wrath from our father.
“Throughout it all, I had shut my emotions down because I simply didn’t have the courage to confront the reality of our situation; I became more detached and hidden within myself in an attempt to diminish the trauma. Ryan protected us; he never hid but always threw himself in the firing line to protect us.”
Luke told The Voice that he found writing the post cathartic and he would never have been able to say it all to Ryan’s face.
“Growing up, we’d never been able to talk about our emotions. We all found it quite difficult.
“Domestic abuse is characterised by people silently suffering. We never considered it was domestic abuse because our father never hit us.”
He added: “I have always written to help me deal with my emotions.
“Given that it was Ryan’s birthday and we’d got over the shock of the incident, I wanted him to know that it was OK to talk about it and give him the opportunity to open up.”
Luke wrote the Facebook post as a surprise for Ryan, who works abroad. The widespread sharing of it and the hundreds of comments it attracted humbled Luke and moved Ryan to tears.
On the fundraising page, Luke says: “I started this page because I want Ryan to know that I care, and I want him to know that other people care too.
“I want Ryan to be able to follow his dreams in life; he doesn’t deserve the struggles he’s faced. I want him to believe that good things can happen and to believe in the future that lies ahead of him.”
The brothers – both engineers – now share the house they arranged for Claire and Charlotte with their mum and sister’s dogs, Indi and Bella.
They are continuing to rebuild their lives, drawing strength from the support given to them.
Luke added: “I wouldn’t have been able to write what I did if I hadn’t felt safe. From close friends to people reaching out, everyone has been the people that we needed them to be.”
To donate, visit www.youcaring.com/ryanhart-806106
